17 Jun WHY ARE YOUR MODIFICATIONS BETTER?
Revise this memo about the Combined Federal Campaign to be reader-centered. Write your revision in word format, then discuss with at least three of your classmates why the original memo was ineffective.
This is an example of a “pro forma” memo. The writer simply pulled last year’s Legal Office-approved version from the files, updated the basic information, and sent it to all recipients. The memo met a legal requirement (no fund-raising activities can proceed without an announcement such as this). However, employees were upset because this was the year that the United Way scandal broke and The Washington Post reported that more than 90 percent of the funds collected during that charity drive had gone to DC executives of United Fund.
Revise this memo about the Combined Federal Campaign to be reader-centered. Write your revision in word format, then discuss with at least three of your classmates why the original memo was ineffective.
This is an example of a “pro forma” memo. The writer simply pulled last year’s Legal Office-approved version from the files, updated the basic information, and sent it to all recipients. The memo met a legal requirement (no fund-raising activities can proceed without an announcement such as this). However, employees were upset because this was the year that the United Way scandal broke and The Washington Post reported that more than 90 percent of the funds collected during that charity drive had gone to DC executives of United Fund.
Why are your modifications better?
DATE: 9 August 1991
REPLY TO:
ATTN OF: DIR
SUBJECT: 1991 Combined Federal Campaign INFORMATION MEMORANDUM
TO: DISTRIBUTION IV
1. The Agency will be conducting its annual Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) from 7 October through 15 November 1991. This Campaign is the only authorized fundraising activity that may take place in our work environment. The Campaign theme is “The American Spirit is the Key to the CFC.”
2. The Agency has been the major contributor to the CFC of Central Maryland for the past several years and, with everyone’s support, we will have another successful Campaign this year. Our goal is to achieve contributions in excess of $1,350,000 and increase employee participation.
3. I encourage each of you to give thoughtful consideration to contributing through the CFC. Let’s work together to make life easier for our fellow Americans who are less fortunate.
DATE: 9 August 1991
REPLY TO:
ATTN OF: DIR
SUBJECT: 1991 Combined Federal Campaign INFORMATION MEMORANDUM
TO: DISTRIBUTION IV
1. The Agency will be conducting its annual Combined Federal Campaign (CFC) from 7 October through 15 November 1991. This Campaign is the only authorized fundraising activity that may take place in our work environment. The Campaign theme is “The American Spirit is the Key to the CFC.”
2. The Agency has been the major contributor to the CFC of Central Maryland for the past several years and, with everyone’s support, we will have another successful Campaign this year. Our goal is to achieve contributions in excess of $1,350,000 and increase employee participation.
3. I encourage each of you to give thoughtful consideration to contributing through the CFC. Let’s work together to make life easier for our fellow Americans who are less fortunate.
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