History Paper

eer Editing: Compare and Contrast Essay

1. First, read the writer’s introduction all the way through then respond to the following:

a. Highlight the attention getter. Does the first sentence “hook” the reader into the paper? Explain.

b. Number the preview of points. Does the introduction correctly state that the paper will discuss “types of

work”, “forms of rebellion”, and “types of abuse/punishment”? Explain.

c. Underline the thesis. Does the thesis confuse you, or do you know EXACTLY what the paper is about?

Explain.

2. Next, read the writer’s body paragraphs all the way through then respond to the following:

a. Underline the topic sentence for each paragraph. Do any of the topic sentences confuse you, or do you

know EXACTLY what that paragraph is about? Does that topic sentence directly relate to the thesis

statement? Explain?

Topic Sentence #1: ____________________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence #2: ____________________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence #3: ____________________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence #4: ____________________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence #5: ____________________________________________________________________

Topic Sentence #6: ____________________________________________________________________

b. Make check marks next to the writer’s supporting evidence in each paragraph. Does each piece of support

evidence relate to the topic sentence in that paragraph? Explain. If it does not, put an “X” next to that

sentence rather than a check.

c. Does the writer use transition words and phrases to contrast the subjects and to provide a smooth flow

from one paragraph to another? If not, show where the writer needs more of these by writing

“TRANSITION” in all capital letters.

Reader’s Name: ____________________________ Writer’s Name: _______________________________

3. Read the writer’s conclusion all the way through then respond to the following:

a. Underline the restated thesis statement. Does the conclusion restate the thesis in a DIFFERENT way than

it was stated in the introduction? Explain.

4. Re-read the writer’s entire paper ALOUD as it is written. Read it all the way through very slowly as you

look and listen for errors in grammar and mechanics.

Grammar/Mechanic Question Y N

1. Does each sentence start with a capital letter? (Circle all letters that are not capitalized.)

2. Does each sentence end with a period, or appropriate punctuation? (Insert a period whenever

necessary)

3. Are there sentence fragments? Does it sound choppy and incomplete when you read it aloud?

(Label sentence fragments in the margin.)

4. Are there run-on sentences? Do you not have time to take a breath when you read it aloud?

(Label run-on sentences in the margin.)

5. Are there any spelling errors? Correct the spelling to the best of your ability by writing the

correct form above the incorrect form.

6. Is each paragraph indented?

7. Are there 8 complete paragraphs?

Final Comments:

1. Readers Name: Ahmed Al Hinai
2. Writers Name: Abdullah Al Kashri
3. Topic Sentence 1: Men and women worked as salves in the fields for planting crops moreover thousands of them have worked as skilled crafts . (clear and does relate to the thesis statement).
4. Topic Sentence 2: In the southern colonies specifically in the agrarian societies, most of the slaves’ women were utilized in fields and for domestic sphere for some household chores. (clear and does relate to the thesis statement. It also tells that this paragraph will focus more on discussing female slaves type of work).
5. Topic Sentence 3: Although women and men both rebelled as they were being exploited by their masters and were treated brutally for which they need to take quick action to get rid of being used any more (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
6. Topic Sentence 4: Perhaps both men and women played the different role in the form of rebellion (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
7. Topic Sentence 5: The different forms of punishment were received by women slaves and men salves as well in the southern parts in the 19th century (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
8. Topic Sentence 6: Contrary to this woman slaves have also received severe punishments in which their heads were slashed brutally (clear and does relate to the thesis statement)
9. Readers Name0: Ahmed Al Hinai
10. Writers Name0: Abdullah Al Kashri
11. ChkBox: On
12. ChkBox0:
13. ChkBox1: On
14. ChkBox2:
15. ChkBox3:
16. ChkBox4: On
17. ChkBox5:
18. ChkBox6: On
19. ChkBox7:
20. ChkBox8: On
21. ChkBox9: On
22. ChkBox10:
23. ChkBox11: On
24. ChkBox12:
25. Textfield: The only suggestion that I have is to improve attention getter because it seems that you immediately went to discuss the content of the essay rather than gradually moving from general to specific. Overall, the paper looks solid.

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